~L.i.v.e. 4 G.~

Diamonds are Forever

2011-08-02T23:04:00.001-07:00

My Friendships are diamonds.

Life Keeps on Going!

2011-01-06T06:33:00.000-08:00

Link:

This animated short has been a favourite since I saw it in 2009.
Such Beautiful animation and theme. But the thing the touches my soul the most, is the sound. The music really just sets the tone, and really reflects the essence of love, loss, loneliness, and the will to carry on.

At first glance the water can seem to represent a theme of global warming and its threat (Which it COULD be, upon further analysis). But reading more about it, the purpose of this film I think, is that we just have to keep on moving on with our lives, as our wonderful MOMENTS and MEMORIES get washed away, by time, so swiftly.

We still have an opportunity to revisit them, our memories, to remind us of our will to continue living.

Le Maison en Petit Cubes, the House of Small Cubes, is such a beautiful piece of work.

I can feel the Japanese-esque theme,
and felt the need to revisit this animation beginning this new year/new day.

Remember

2010-07-18T23:33:00.000-07:00

All Humans have a desire
an
innate nature to want to be remembered.

It is the only way to continue to
live on this earth,
through other people
's thoughts

Some Erect monuments
to concretize their existence
to have others reflect
even if for a brief moment,
on their legacy.

Thrust
your thoughts
onto the world,
'ye Mighty and despair.

Suspend

time
so that you may continue
to
affect
me...

I
am the immortal
thought
that will hold on
-to your memories

to bequeath
the antiquity
of your quintessential
existence

I Will
to

remember you
your legacy
your life
your existence

It is the gift and the curse
of the poet.

The one who wants to remember
your affection,

and be remembered
for being the one who
remembers

You.

Knowledge, Knowledge, Knowledge!

2010-06-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

You don’t know what you don’t know,
Act like you know nothing,
In order to understand everything.

Striving for Perfection!

2010-05-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

I Live to Love, Because I Love to Live!

What am I really doing?
in Pursuit of Happiness, throughout all the strife, my goal as a human being is to find a perfection within myself that will satisfy me fully. And the only way that I can satisfy myself is when I try to satisfy others...

But the fact that I can never be satisfied, because I am imperfect, is a cause of my ...sense of satisfaction.

What gives me most strength everyday, is my understanding that I know that when I wake up people love me. Not to sound like a pretentious jerk, but I can say with Confidence and JOY that I am blessed to have people in my life who genuinely do care about my well being and my existence.

What Saddens me the most, and is a cause of my drama and uneasiness toward life, is that there might be some people in this world who aren't lucky enough to HAVE anyone, or who are in a position where they feel they HAVE NO ONE!

Even when I feel alone, I am never Lonely.

What I want out of this life is a meaningful world where LOVE is in the air...all over, simultaneously, ubiquitous.
A sense of PERFECTION in a World of IMPERFECTION...

Because isn't that what Love truly is in the end?

Finding perfection in things that are imperfect?
That is Why I Love, and will Never STOP Loving

YOU!

Love will always be close to my heart...

(Directed for Everyone, and No one)

0

2010-05-13T00:11:00.001-07:00

There is no Good or Evil.
Only You and Me...

Vision of Deadalus. but Acting like Icarus

2010-04-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am at a moment of suspension.
I want to soar High in the clouds, And
am confident in my ability to take flight.

What is it that draws me closer to the sun, that makes me drop
down to the ocean, and drown?
I know better than this...

Do I purposely try to fly high and call attention to myself to be shot down?

I've been cultivated in a world where aspirations of flight is possible, and even encouraged. But the moment I arm my wings and take flight, I am immediately targeted to be brought back down to reality.
There's only so much hits one can take, but I still want to fly...

but
I guess,
Sometimes I need to crash into the water,
to cleanse me of my wounds...

?

Is it a front that I am in flight? am I already stuck in the ocean pretending to fly?

Why Can't There Be Love?

2010-04-14T22:26:00.000-07:00

Track on Repeat!

Just loving the upbeat positive vibes I get from this track. Even though it's a 'sad' track...

Oh Silly World! Why can't there be Love???

Even though it may seem Unrequited, KEEP LOVING ANYWAY!!!
That's the only way to break this cycle of non-love!

The Meaning of Life!

2010-03-21T01:14:00.001-07:00

Part 1.

This interlude represents my feelings toward myself, my life, and the world.

(When I know, I'll tell you)

SUBLIME!

2010-03-11T22:41:00.001-08:00

Do we live in a God-less world?

Gymnopedie
Gymnopaedia

is what created me...

Life

Unconcealed beauty
marks of a God

Imaginations fury
seeking homage

Author of elegance,
organized redemption

Infinite growth,
consecutive shapes
emerging telos,
Pi

World creating words,
creating worlds
and earth

Ultimate, timeless,
spaceless
breathless,
everywhere and nowhere immortalizing
thought

Distinguishable faces
resembling death.
Created to discern-

Poetry

Humble Egoism?

2010-02-11T02:33:00.001-08:00

I Hate myself because of the fact that I Love myself.

Meritocracy

2010-01-14T12:42:00.000-08:00

There is no such thing as a GOOD Soul anymore...unless you've got credentials.

What is Art?

2009-12-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

The Creations of Man!

as the Externalization of the soul...
(expression from the God within)...

to unconceal the Truth about...Everything?

...
"Art is truth setting itself to work"
-Heidegger

My Ode to Nothing!

2009-11-15T16:43:00.000-08:00

Nothing is always forgotten
Its presence, or lack thereof
Becomes bullied by Something

When Something sees that
Nothing is there
Something wants it
Something craves it!

The Abhorrence of Nothing
Overpowered by Something

Something always wants
What Nothing has
The endless cycle
Of occupying space and no space

Nothing has lived longer than Something

Before life, before time,
Nothing
Not even respect.

Lest we forget
That it is through Nothing
That we can have Something
Nothing uses the spaces which Something does not want,

Yet

MUSIC IS MY LIFE!!!!

2009-11-10T02:35:00.000-08:00

How can this sound penetrate my ears
in such beautifully rendered rhythmic patterns?
The musical genius
Producer
transmits alluring reverberation

boom boom, boom boom...

Inflicting
deep emotions
straight into my soul.
The beat of my heart
flows parallel
with the beats of my life.

Like the poet laureate deeming for glory incognito
bleeding ink on the page
composing meter
rhyme, and free verse
in thoughts, in sound

I take note,
of each precious
Note
entering my brain.

Every step I take,
brings me Miles closer to my destination,
every sound I hear,
from this musical inclination
that yearns within me,

Establishes melody
through the wake of my day.
My urge to express my innermost thoughts,
become explicated
when these invisible waves
transported by my ears,
Ignite my imagination

I love music!

The way it sends me spine tingling sensations
which decodes its glorious declarations
of beat, and sound
I love life!
I receive pleasure in the pauses
between each note
allowing me time to appreciate
for a nanosecond,
the sound it produced.
This is how I live.

Breathing in every moment
appreciating the pauses
between each breath
so that I can recognize each note
composed in my work,
of daily living.
The harmony, gentleness, and flow,
that the cars, people, and nature
Dictate,
Transcend
the realm of this globe.

All these pleasures I see around me
resonate strongly within me

Trumpet horn blast
from people driving too fast
to the cries of joy
from the Ink drenched paper people employ
to Saxophone sounds in hallways underground
lovely blown

Life is what you make it
I make music.

Music is my life

Signed,
The Poet

re: john robinson- Black Gold

Stacey Epps- Deep

I LOVE GOD!

2009-11-01T23:22:00.000-08:00

But am infatuated by Satan.

Spirit vs. Physical.

The Dichotomy of the universe continues.

Satan was created by God,

therefore indirectly I still Love God, through Satan?

Can this be possible? or is this Blasphemous?

God As A Cloud!

2009-09-25T07:30:00.001-07:00

Something that is there, but really not.
Something I can almost experience and fathom,
but really not.
Something that when I look up makes me feel happy,
but really not.
Something that seems soft, comforting and can touch,
but really not.
Something that rains down, causing ruckus, disasters, depression, lightning, hurricanes, wind,
to feed, and bring life...
but really?
not...
Something I strive to be at the level of, to be able to fly with, or stay with up high, feeling the comfort in the serene and peacefulness of the sky, as opposed to the problem filled disasters down on earth...
but really not.

How do you see God?

(that is if you choose to create an image of that which is called "God")

The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions!

2009-09-18T00:03:00.000-07:00

good intentions...I feel like i want to save the world...by doing so I may end up hurting people...or going down the path of "darkness"...

it starts with a Righteous good intention that sets the journey to the abyss...I want to help others...i must be stronger...i must do x to get to y by any means.....Ends Justify the means?

NO...it should never be...Means to the end are what matters....every single person and thing matters! We are all MATTER...

how do i fix this...how do I take the left turn and get out...

Just live my life...just focus on me...

This is the paradox of my soul...our souls...

Save others to save ourselves...(e.g. Heaven, Jannah, Paradise)...
But in reality hurting others to save others...because we impose ourselves into others...
but is it a bad thing?

The sword that kills, is the sword that gives life...

Money

2009-08-26T21:16:00.001-07:00

I hate Money.

Oh how I hate Money!
I hate that I need money to buy stuff…
Oh and I love stuff…

I hate that I need money to motivate me to go to work
Or rather FIND work
So that I can MAKE money
Money to feed me…But I can’t EAT money! Why do I need money so much?

I need money so I can pay someone else to hunt for me…true…
When The world runs out of money, we will make…Honey!!??

I talk to money, money don’t talk to me,
Money don’t care bout me
Its just a piece of paper
But I like paper
I like to draw, and write on paper
Express my thoughts and my soul on paper…

I spend my time for money,
I sacrifice my life for money,
I am losing my hair for money!
But what has money lost for ME?

At the end of it all, I will always Miss Money!
I Miss the way money gives me pleasure…at least temporarily…

By the way, money was the name of my ex girlfriend…

LOVE

2009-07-27T01:04:00.000-07:00

Love is brightest,

in the Dark.

Courage

2009-07-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

What is Courage?

"The preservation of One's own Beliefs" (Plato -The Republic Book IV)

Know More

SOLIPSISM

2009-06-19T03:08:00.001-07:00

I am not the only being in the world...acknowledge other people...don't wait for others to acknowledge you!

CHANGE!!!! again...The next evolution? or Revolution?

2009-05-27T02:39:00.000-07:00

Been listenin to this track, and it REALLY hits me.
Lyrically, it represents what I am learning at the moment. Learning about the world, Philippine History, and just reading about human nature...

CHANGE really is what needs to happen at this state of the world...
Why???

Just because!
I have been programmed through education, media, and societal factors that the world is due for a revolution soon...(soon being a span of 5-500 years in my opinion of historical terms...which I am making up in my mind)

But Seriously,
I guess I am hoping to evolve in a way. Like as humans, we continue to innovate our surroundings externally, why not internally? We haven't evolved since Caveman times...but can we say that we have really evolved???

Studies show(I don't have a citation but it's been heard through Psychology courses/liberal media etc.) that the most learned humans to have lived have only merely reached the capacity to unlock 10% of their brain (give or take)... DAMN! What would happen if that were the average for a regular everyday human...? I IMAGINE, as you can see I am using my 'Brain' here, that by unlocking more features of our mind, humans can learn to manipulate our surroundings, e.g. through specific brainwave patterns.
What I am leaning towards is like mutant evolution (X-men, Heroes)...IN A WAY, but one that does not have to do with biological business-DNA, Genetic mutation etc.
I am speaking of evolution more inclined to mind evolution (still biological but not about genes etc)...a.k.a Unlocking our minds to be able to process a WHOLE new LEVEL of things...The day that humans will be able to fathom the 4th dimension and beyond... maybe even God(but as long as we are human, that may be impossible...or so we are taught)???

Unlocking the MIND is/maybe on another level of hardcoreness...
Imagine being able to understand and fathom the Philosophies of Plato, Kant, Derrida, Machiavelli at age 4? Basically the stuff I am learning (luckily) at University NOW, I learn during pre school... (It's possible that we have an UNLIMITED a priori knowledge we simply just have to unlock and remember)...

WHAT IF humans evolved in this way, opening up a greater sense of learning, I BELIEVE the world would be a more calm and harmonius place...relatively speaking. People will understand the futilities of violence and its path to nowhere but death and destruction..."The art of FIGHTING without FIGHTING" will become the zeitgeist motto...
Humans being more "Evolved" will be able to understand that and thus simply battle through MASS dialogue and debates!...I feel that people will be more critical about their surroundings and express it quite explicitly in eloquent terms that will be artisticly offensive, which will cause mass debates, until a consensus can be agreed upon...which when the time comes, will bring a temporary Peace...

OR maybe a 180 degree turn could happen...WHAT IF we could learn how to manipulate brain patterns and read each others thoughts, pull a professor Xavier and fight each other mentally, and the last man standing will be able to 100% persuade the other that they are right...no need to have OPEN mouth conversations, it will all be done mentally. (talk about Fascism at its peak)
Plus Telekinesis? I want to be able to FLY, and use the FORCE! Pull some Dragonball Z stuff, knowhatimsayin? Unlock the ultimate POTENTIAL within all of us (and significantly increase my power level)!
I honestly just want to learn to teleport and or disapparate sometimes.

Through what I am taught to believe through society/religion, I feel that the next level we humans will become is to be like, angels...or demi-gods?
BUT we will still be mortal. Perhaps our mortality will grow shorter, because more energy will be required to make the brain work at a higher capacity....OR we may live longer because the brain is able to understand cell processes and repair old/broken cells, thus allowing to express maximum output and efficiency with minimal energy...

To what is suggested through my thoughts, I am concluding that Humans will continue to evolve until we reach a God-like state...the state where GOD actually accepts us and will communicate with us directly...(I still do through prayer, but what I am aiming for is a more explicit form of communication...like talk to God on the phone...waddup G!)

because that is my flaw, I WANT TO GO BACK TO PARADISE, WHILE BEING ALIVE!!!

....sigh...sigh...sigh

"Lest we forget, we are mortal."

Without Further ado, Listen to CHANGE -->

Joy Denalane feat. Lupe Fiasco - Change
Uploaded by FourMusic. - Explore more music videos.

E--GO!

2009-05-18T21:39:00.002-07:00

My conscience, my mind, my friend...my ENEMY?

the Ego?

what is the Ego?

I recently watched a movie called Revolver...and it hit me...

YOU AND ME = EGO...

My surroundings create a reflection of me...

Picture of Dorian Gray...

I AM the painting.

...
"The Apocalypse is the way the world looks after the ego has disappeared" Northrop Frye- The Great Code

The Hate That Hate Produced

2009-05-18T21:39:00.001-07:00

Excerpt from an early documentary exploring the Nation of Islam and anti-NOI movments of the time. It was filmed in 1959.

White vs. Black
always and forever.

it should be more that White + Black = Always and Forever (Yin Yang)

It's Crazy that the Broadcaster's decided to Title this with the emphasis on HATE!
suggesting that Black people incite the HATRED...
Frack,

I 'HATE' the ignorance of ignorance...

Check out the Autobiography of Malcolm X.

..

All I have to say is... in this world, the way you act towards others will bring in consequences both good and bad, in the future generation.

Treat someone bad today, that person will treat someone bad tomorrow...which may eventually lead someone to treat you or someone you know badly...or if not your grandchildren will feel the repercussions...Karma.

Therefore if only people can learn to follow the golden rule...
Treat others the way you wish to be treated...
NOW!

then can we find a sense of peace and harmony.
KEEP IT R.E.A.L!!!

I Don't Give Up! I Give Down!

2009-05-02T13:48:00.000-07:00

Never Give UP!
Never succumb to oppression and exploitation!

When times get Rough, and the weight of the world seems to be placed on your shoulders, the thoughts of just "giving up" always come to mind. It seems so easy to just give up and just rest. But "giving up" comes with dire consequences as well. To give up, means to yield and surrender. All the morals and principles one holds dear to them is lost (depending on the scale of the situation). I always hold the mantra to never give up and keep fighting through, even in the face of adversity. Fights that I am constantly in are not physical, but internal mental bouts. Especially with studying. I am fighting my procrastination syndrome so that I can Focus and finish my work. I fight my temptations, inner demons, my writer's blocks, my self-hate, and other negative dealings in my mind.
This is what I mean when I say NEVER Give UP! I don't want to give in to temptations and fall prey into oppression and exploitation. Procrastionation is a form of oppression, rather I MAKE it a form of oppression, because by not doing my work, my mind becomes oppressed on learning new knowledge, and its right to exercise creativity and expression.

Always Give DOWN!
When I say I GIVE DOWN, what I mean is to apply all my energy into the activities I need to do down here on earth...Also to Give to the people in need...

But to address the former, To Give DOWN is to apply all that energy contemplating on "giving up" taking that break, succumbing to temptation, and listening to that voice that just tells you to stop, and redirect it to become motivation. I like to personify "Giving up" as that hard kick in the ass to remind me of my mortality and my humanity. It proves that I am weak, I am not superhuman and cannot do everything at once. This is why this thought of giving up comes in mind in the first place.
It also however, proves as a test of the strength of humanity. Though we are weak, feeble, and mortal (in the eyes of the divine), we also have the capacity to exercise our abilities to keep working as much or as little as we want, until it kills us. Technically we have an UNLIMITED source of power between the time of our birth to the time of our death! No matter how short or long our life span will be, with enough understanding, education, knowledge and persistence, we can literally MOVE mountains, REACH for the stars, and even CHANGE the world.
As human beings, individuals, we have to capacity to shape our own circumstances, we are what we make of this world. Looking back at the story of "Coffee Beans" in my previous posts, Humans have the capacity to become the coffee beans that transform the water.

---------------------**#2#**--------------------

Now to put this mantra in the context of my interpretation for the current economic situation, is that When I say to GIVE down, I suggest in giving to the poor, the exploited, the proletariat, a.k.a the considered "lower" class of the society. By giving UP, we are just feeding the rich, wealthy, bourgeois, our "Oppressors". When I give Up, I feel as though I am just disregarding, or yielding my individual humanity to the hands of those who I allow to control me, through the economy, media, etc...
It is very difficult in society to take an honourable stand, without fear of causing ruckus or great disturbance to the masses. I am all up for cultural revolutions and all, but I am not up for having to kill or injure people in order to achieve it...

What I solely intend to achieve from thinking about this, and by trying to explicate my thoughts, I want to Never forget about the people in the "bottom". I always am ready and willing to extend my hand to those who are down, to help bring them up. Or rather I am ready and willing to Jump DOWN and look up With them, rather than stay high and look down on them...Who are the people in the bottom?

EVERYONE!

Humanity is all in the bottom, as in we are all grounded in the earth. It's just a social construct that we produce that enables us to perceive and think we are above others, or below others.

I want to condone the belief that we are neither above nor below, but rather, BESIDE each other. We all humans, we all in this life together.

Never GIVE UP!, Always GIVE DOWN!

Born into This...Like This... DOOM! Bukowski

2009-04-13T01:28:00.001-07:00

Born like this
Into this
As the chalk faces smile
As Mrs. Death laughs
As the elevators break
As political landscapes dissolve
As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree
As the oily fish spit out their oily prey
As the sun is masked
We are
Born like this
Into this
Into these carefully mad wars
Into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness
Into bars where people no longer speak to each other
Into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings
Born into this
Into hospitals which are so expensive that it’s cheaper to die
Into lawyers who charge so much it’s cheaper to plead guilty
Into a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closed
Into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes
Born into this
Walking and living through this
Dying because of this
Muted because of this
Castrated
Debauched
Disinherited
Because of this
Fooled by this
Used by this
Pissed on by this
Made crazy and sick by this
Made violent
Made inhuman
By this
The heart is blackened
The fingers reach for the throat
The gun
The knife
The bomb
The fingers reach toward an unresponsive god
The fingers reach for the bottle
The pill
The powder
We are born into this sorrowful deadliness
We are born into a government 60 years in debt
That soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt
And the banks will burn
Money will be useless
There will be open and unpunished murder in the streets
It will be guns and roving mobs
Land will be useless
Food will become a diminishing return
Nuclear power will be taken over by the many
Explosions will continually shake the earth
Radiated robot men will stalk each other
The rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms
Dante’s Inferno will be made to look like a children’s playground
The sun will not be seen and it will always be night
Trees will die
All vegetation will die
Radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men
The sea will be poisoned
The lakes and rivers will vanish
Rain will be the new gold
The rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind
The last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases
And the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition
The petering out of supplies
The natural effect of general decay
And there will be the most beautiful silence never heard
Born out of that.
The sun still hidden there
Awaiting the next chapter.

...I am Born into this world. Consumed by Leviathan.
Can I change it?
I can only await what happens next, await for the choices that lay ahead of me.
What I can change is my direction.
Am I continuing on the path to Greatness? Path to Destruction?
I realize...
I am a product of Leviathan...Either path I choose, my Life will CHANGE...I CHANGE my world as I Live...Can I choose to slay Leviathan? or stay in it?
I want to slay it, but I wouldn't mind staying in it, if I can tame it...
I'm still sharpening my sword, my mind.
When I am confident in my skillz, I will face it and decide its fate...my fate...

**!?!?**

Only when the last tree has died
and the last river been poisoned
and the last fish been caught
will we realise we cannot eat money.
-Cree Saying

Passion of the Student!!! A week of School left, and It's Holy Week!

2009-04-06T01:54:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I last posted. I've been searching for inspiration on a next blog topic, for the past 4 months. Something that I learned in my creative writing class is that, I personally, struggle and think too much on what I feel is inspirational, or what I should be writing about. This is more of a flaw for me.
I feel like I need to develop the PERFECT blog post...well that's not possible.

Look at this, already I've gone into a tangent.

Anyway, it's Last week of my 3rd year at UofT, and it so happens to land on HOLY WEEK!
I pray that things will work out for the good in the end. 2 things to look forward to, End of School, and of course EASTER Celebration!

If anything its like an omen in a way...(but not really I'm just developing a crazy context as a form of procrastination)...Since it IS HOLY WEEK, a week involving the Passion of the Christ...This also kind of plays a part in the Passion of the student! I am a student, figuratively and literally. I study Life, and Im always learning something new everyday.
I must endure and suffer through these Exams and Assignments, and do my best on them...only then will I be able Raise* myself up and enjoy the Easter Celebration and fully accept my beloved Summer Vacation...

Failure is Not an Option! It's a Fate we must endure to our advantage!

2008-12-30T18:24:00.000-08:00

I just recently saw J.K Rowlings commencement adress to the 2008 graduates at Harvard, about the "The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination," and found it very inspirational! she talks about how FAILURE, the biggest FEAR that I would say 99.99999999% percent of the human race holds is something that we shouldn't fight to avoid, but rather accept and work with to overcome. Meaning We shouldn't base our merits and our dealings in life because we don't WANT to Fail, but should base them on because WE WANT TO DO THIS AND JUST FINISH THIS... I know I may not have been able to articulate my thoughts succinctly enough, but Basically what she says in her speech is "Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

a.k.a when you hit the bottom, there is only one way to go...UP!!! you silly children!!!

Ah just Listen to it already!!!

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

________________________________________________________

Click Here to READ the Speech

knowledge is POWER...Knowledge is HECTIC!

2008-12-15T02:20:00.000-08:00

I'm on the verge of cracking in a way.
Ah I'm about to study for my last exam for tomorrow. I just realized there is SO MUCH I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING!!

It just overwhelms me how the stuff I'm reading and learning about, is never going to completely satisfy my UNDERSTANDING until I know all the aphorisms, allusions, double meanings etc.

I'm studying for my Topics in Shakespeare Course, and SHIT SON! There is SO much to denote in Shakespeare's plays. Whether it was written by Him FULLY or not, DAMN...So many underlying themes, puns, and hardcore double meanings!

Much like a Lot of Wu-tang songs, and other Really good Musicians and Artists, there are ENDLESS deeper meanings that can be interpreted in anything!!!

******************************************************************************

IF you read my post below, I am in a constant pursuit of KNOWLEDGE!!! and Now at this hour is no different. I say I AM studying, but really I'm wiki'ing and google searching random things of interest!

(Damn this crazy information Age!!! I LOVE and HATE Thee!)
Things just Feel so Overwhelming because I WANT TO KNOW more, I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING!!!

******************************************************************************

But I KNOW that it is IMPOSSIBLE to KNOW EVERYTHING! It's just this human complex in me, My want to BECOME like God, by gaining knowledge (Eating the APPLE)! I won't stop trying though, just because it is what drives me to learn and understand...
Although I still need to LEARN to control my mind to not get so overwhelmed with this, and UNDERSTAND that my capacity to learn is ENDLESS, meaning I can constantly keep learning and learning, and there is no such thing as being able to know everything! There is however, such thing as KNOWING a lot!

To know everything is to know nothing.

Basically the purpose of my rant is to VENT out my desire to want to DO So MUCH IN MY LIFE!!! I want to travel, I want to explore the World, the Universe, Watch Movies all day, Watch all the Nostalgic T.V Shows/Cartoons from the 90's, Read Graphic Novels and all pieces of Literature...and the LIST GOES ON!!!

I feel so limited in my life. There really is Not enough time for me to do everything in ONE Lifetime!

Therefore I'll just have to do the MOST I can with what TIME I have.

What got me overwhelmed and thinking like this in the first place???
Well as I listen to my Beats, it overwhelms my mind how GOOD Music can BE!!! particularly Hip hop from the 90's! Plus MF GRIMM But beyond that, I listen to a lot of Classical Music TOO! (So mesmerized by Claude Debussy right now!) Then Jazz from the 40's, 50's, 60's (Miles Davis)...The List goes on! It sparked interest because a lot of crazy Hip Hop beats sample Jazz hits, some classical music, and just other great sources of inspirational sound.
Everytime I hear a crazy beat/sound, that stimulates my mind beyond anything I can explain, I go friggin **berserk!!! Like How something THAT Good be able to enter my mind??? If you don't understand me, listen to one of your favourite songs in the WHOLE world, and just get lost in its sounds. How can these sound frequency's fuse together to create something that is SO incredible??? If I could express how I feel like when I hear Music, put your visualization on your Itunes (or winamp or Wmedia Player, or whatever you use), all those crazy colours that explode as it goes with the beat, THAT's how i FEEL like my mind is when I listen to music...and or when I read, and try and understand something that is really mesmerizing and Deep

(Exhales deeply)

ALSO I just watched this episode recently. It's from "The Twilight Zone" and the episode is called "Time Enough At Last"

For those of you who Don't Know, its been parodied a lot from Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy and other t.v shows. About the LAST guy on the planet, who Loves to READ, but then breaks his glasses and is Not able to read! (its Sad, yet FUNNY at the Same time) Its funny because its So Ironic!
It just also summarizes my rant in a segment. We can't know everything, nor can we do whatever we want, whenever we want! Therefore just ACCEPT what you can and Live your life... well something like that at least. I've been meaning to actually watch this for a long time, and I finally found Time enough at last...during my "study" breaks.

HERES THE VID!!! "Time Enough At Last"
The Twilight Zone - Time Enough At last

LASTLY I want to Leave you with some Quotes that I found really inspiring, and helped me to vent out my feelings in the First Place.

That which does not destroy us makes us stronger. — Friedrich Nietzsche

Lost time is never found again. - Benjamin Franklin

If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. — Benjamin Franklin

The desire of excessive power caused the angels to fall; the desire of knowledge caused men to fall. - Francis Bacon

THEREFORE

Knowledge Is Power, Power Corrupts. Study Hard, Be Evil
(but not really =P)

_________________****************************_________________

At the end of the day, I write this because I realize, that sometimes we (humans) need to vent out our FRUSTRATION of being human!!!

Naw' means???

Again the only formula to take control of THIS, (I find at least) is to keep it R.E.A.L!!!
I just have to Respect, Endure, Accept, and Love my human flaws, so I won't feel so sporadic and all over the place. Control is the KEY, to Keeping it REAL!

Peace and Love

LG

In Pursuit of Knowledge...(The Procrastinator's way)

2008-12-01T14:46:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it is almost CHRISTMAS time again, and the beginning of a New Year!

...Just as soon as I finish my exams!

I dont know what I'm doing right now... I want to continue to succeed in my studies but...In light of the season, I'd much rather enlighten my mind to music, watch episodes of Hey Arnold! and Batman TAS, read stuff on wikipedia, and just learn about New Things, instead of study!

I know this seems kinda WACK, but like I'd rather read stuff on Howstuffworks.com and learn how stuff works and expand my knowledge that way, instead of reading the material my Prof's assigned to be ready for my EXAMS!!!

_______________P R O C R A S T I N A T E_______________

But Luigi, that's just Silly why don't you just sit down, shut up, and study?

The Answer: as much as I want to JUST 'study', my procrastination complex in my mind kicks in and would much rather be enlightened by learning about other things than whats necessary for my courses. =S

I don't know why but I feel as though my mind is inkling for a constant pursuit of new knowledge.
I mean I actually enjoy the courses I'm in, love the prof's and all, but when it comes down to studying for it, I push it off aside and increase my knowledge by learning about OTHER things...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ah this is crazy talk! This crazy procrastination complex in my mind has gone F.U.B.A.R (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair) that it is sending me messages that makes me FEEL like it's controlling me...

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

I guess it's an inherent part of being a student.
Not only am I paying a hefty sum, to be a student, but it boggles my mind that my attitude toward my studies is very lax.

The messed up thing about this all is that I KNOW that the only SOLUTION for this is to SIMPLY just shut everything off and start studying the material that's relevant to my GRADES!

* * * * * * _________________B L A H______________* * * * * *

I don't know, but only until HOURS before the exam/assignment actually is, I will be found reading articles from various other sites instead of my studies, and producing blog posts instead of essays.

I don't want to fail in SCHOOL, and in LIFE! But for some reason the slackers instinct pushes through and tells me to learn new things than continue to understand my courses...I would also much rather help other people finish their work, before I finish mine!!!

I should end this here. I am actually reading this article on how to STOP procrastinating, and it seems helpful. Check it when you MAKE the time! actually check it...
NOW!!! CLICK HERE TO STOP PROCRASTINATING

Confused???

I am...

PEACE and LOVE

Separation

2008-10-16T00:02:00.001-07:00

This is a Poem/phrase that has really stuck with me since Professor Downes introduced it to my ENG 280 class last year. I feel it to be very powerful and symbolic to many things in life. Particularly toward things that have been lost and the affect of its loss...

"Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its colour."

W.S Merwin 1973

____________________________________________________

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

____________________________________________________

Still hits me hard every time I read it.
A guy in my class said it rings the Bell of 9/11 a.k.a the Twin towers, and that statement can just be an account of the current state of the world right now. It's so true, the loss of the twin towers sparked up the whole ideology of terrorism etc. in our world today...

how do YOU feel about those words?

Beauty of Mathematics

2008-10-01T22:27:00.001-07:00

Got this email fwd, and I felt it to be really interesting...
Check This:

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
______________________________________________

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

______________________________________________

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

_____________________________________________

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

_____________________________________________

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

It's up to you if you share this with your friends and loved ones just
the way I did..

Have a nice day God bless!

Some, Coffee?

2008-07-24T20:01:00.000-07:00

This is a story that my parents showed me, that I felt is very true about reality. I'm not much of a coffee drinker, but after reading this I realized I've been a Coffee man most of my life. Anyways check this out.

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
__________________________________________________________

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the co ffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her
daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter
smiled as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coff ee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situ ation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

CARROT? EGGS? or COFFEE?
Which one are you?

Keepin it R.E.A.L !!!!

2008-07-17T03:13:00.000-07:00

Real, what does the word mean? To be acknowledged of having existence?
Yes, that could fit into a definition of it. Being TRUE and not ILLUSIONARY, is also another way of trying to describe it (as defined in dictionary.com).

But KEEPING it REAL, what does that mean? How do you KEEP it Real?
To keep something is to remain true to it, not to hinder it in anyway...(whatever "it" may be).
In this case, "it" is being REAL.

Keeping it Real means to be able to remain true to oneself. Honestly being able to express oneself through emotion, and action. What I mean is being able to without CARING about any judgment by external forces, just ACTING as humanly as possible, the way you FEEL, toward the Other.

How about murderers? When they feel angry, or sometimes pleasure, they kill. are they keeping it Real?
This is tricky in a sense. They keep it Real in terms of expressing themselves, but they neglect their true self. Humans have a violence complex through nature, there is always a BEAST within us all. But To keep it REAL, is to be able to EXPRESS oneself TRUTHFULLY, with uttermost control over our Nature...being able to tame the Beast within, or rather Control it, and not let it overpower your.
This is the tricky part.

How can it be kept REAL, if it is CONTROLLED?
To be Real, is to be honest. To be honest is to act truthfully, about how one is feeling. To act truthfully, is something that cannot really be fathomed and explained in REAL terms, but can be FELT. YOU CAN FEEL the HONESTY, and TRUTH when someone is KEEPING IT REAL...

______________________________________________________

To Fathom REALNESS, is to NOT Fathom reality. You just BE.
BE who you are, BE what you are, and BE what you do.

I've developed a formula in how to do this. and it is by keeping it R.E.A.L

Respect
Endure
Accept
Love

If humans can learn to Respect all things, there will be a sense of order.

If humans can learn to Endure all hardships that they face in life (annoying friend, vengeful enemy, not being able to understand something, not being able to take control of a situation, having no money for something, feeling alone and deserted, feeling UNLOVED...etc.) and be able to Respect the situation, there will be peace and calm.

If humans can learn to Accept that it is inevitable that there will always be suffering and hardships, then will there be a tolerance of being able to Endure anything, and be able to Respect it's existence (that is the existence of suffering).

If humans can learn to Love all things, there will be Peace. Love is what helps humans have the capacity to Respect, Endure and Accept things that occur in life. Without Love, it will be impossible to completely and truthfully keep it REAL.

To keep it REAL means to be able to Love, Accept, Endure and Respect all things, so that one can TRUTHFULLY and HONESTLY Express themself to others. REAL is relative, you are only REAL because something (others) acknowledges your existence.

Therefore one must be able to Respect the other, Endure the other, Accept the other, and Love the other.

Only in this way can one Keep it R.E.A.L.

Jesus is a perfect example of someone who Respected all, Endured extreme suffering and hardship, Accepted his fate, yet still Loved everyone, even those who killed him.

I want to pull a Jesus.

realtalk

Change Yourself, Change the World

2008-07-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

The following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in the Crypts of Westminster Abbey. I picked them especially because it talks about change, and changing ourselves, knowing that change should begin with us.

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change. So I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, on one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But, alas, they would have none of it. And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: if I had only CHANGED myself first, then by example, I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I might have even changed the world.”

I realize this as well.
The world is TOO complex, as a whole. But individually... well its still complex. We're constantly changing. Every second, every breath we take, we change.

Revolutions happen with the collective force of each individuals beliefs. It takes one person to spark up a thought that could inspire people to band together and do something... but its keeping the people banded together that's the problem.

I feel so caught up sometimes in trying to do something to change the world; something i have no control over.
Instead I should be focusing on changing myself first, or rather learn to accept my place, accept the WACKNESS around me and embrace it. Without it, I wouldn't have anything to contemplate about.

All i can say for now is, I Cannot Change the world, but I can Change your View of it.

Peace

First Step: EXPRESSION

2008-07-12T03:16:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

First off, Thank you for stopping by and checking out my Blog.
I have been debating about creating a Blog for a LONG time. Because at first i wanted an outlet for expressing my thoughts. I tried to start the old Fashioned way, writing on paper, or just typing random thoughts on microsoft word. BUT i figured that it serves no other purpose than to try and relieve myself of any excess thoughts through expression in writing. I mean it was a good way of actually expressing how I felt at the moment, yet it still made me feel some anxiety. I guess because my writing merely became just scribbles on paper. No one will read them ever, except me. I mean anyone is welcome to read them, just go to my room and pick up the random sheets scattered around, in notebooks etc. But at the end of the day it will just be scribbles on a sheet of paper only I have access to. I may have poured my soul into my writings, but what good is the writing if the potential of it being decoded is slim to none? Meaning, if no one will read it, what is its purpose, other than to just relieve myself of a load in my mind? No one may really TRULY understand my passionate expression at that particular moment when I wrote that piece. They would have to experience that own expression on their own...

I express myself for the sake of expressing myself, but like Kafka's Hunger Artist, I want/have a need to be acknowledged. But in reality, Who Doesnt?

I feel as though it doesn't fully satisfy me enough when i merely just write on paper. I am an unselfish being (well i try to be), and I wish to share my thoughts with everyone. Not because i want people to feel whatever mood i was feeling when i wrote that piece, but rather to inspire people to understand and acknowledge that I, for that time I wrote my entry, was HONESTLY EXPRESSING MYSELF!

I want everyone to understand that for that time I was writing, I was just expressing myself. I may have been mad, glad, happy or sad, and it may be obvious in my piece, but the fact i wish to share is the fact that i WROTE a piece in the first place...

I want to share with the world and inspire, to the best of my ability, of Humanly expressing myself. I feel this is the first step into being able to live a Happier life. Keeping NOTHING bottled up inside. Really just letting go and express what is on my mind. Then having others read it , and feel inspired to do so as well.

In the end, I guess what my goal for doing this other than just to express myself, is to inspire OTHERS to express themselves...
Forgive me for my redundant inarticulateness.

What I feel my ambition is right now is to try to inspire a state of liberation (life) among people. And the first step into doing this, is by being able to Express oneself.

I honestly FEEL that the only way to receive acknowledgment that one has expressed themself, is if another person can read and can sense that expression. Feel that other persons expression.
But no one can truly FEEL the other persons expression, only their own...I need to prove to myself that my expression is worthy of being acknowledged in the first place...

Expression is an art itself. And being art, not everyone may understand it at first. To even classify as being art, it must be showcased and acknowledged, and lived through.
If not, then it is dead.

But how can expression be dead? It can't, but if no one is expressing themself, how can "expressing" (the liberation and feeling of it) be alive?

How can it be there if it is not known it exists?
Everyone Expresses themselves everyday, by just living and being themselvses, but for some reason I'm Thinking about something Deeper than that. Beyond just everyday expression that goes on, well not really. I am thinking about Honestly as Humanly possible expressing oneself, to the point that it becomes just the inner self becoming the outer. Fully overpowering the mask we all place over ourselves in our every walk of life...

___________________________________________________________

hmm.. i feel like i've went on a tangent...on my 1st blog too!! i think i may have gotten carried away. But there is just so much I want to get out of my head.
Bah oh well, im just expressing how i feel right now. and i just feel like writing stuff.

Feel Free to express your own comments if any.

and Thanks For Reading... even if it just this final line! =D