Vision of Deadalus. but Acting like Icarus

I feel like I am at a moment of suspension.
I want to soar High in the clouds, And
am confident in my ability to take flight.

What is it that draws me closer to the sun, that makes me drop
down to the ocean, and drown?
I know better than this...


Do I purposely try to fly high and call attention to myself to be shot down?

I've been cultivated in a world where aspirations of flight is possible, and even encouraged.  But the moment I arm my wings and take flight, I am immediately targeted to be brought back down to reality.
There's only so much hits one can take, but I still want to fly...

but
I guess,
Sometimes I need to crash into the water,
to cleanse me of my wounds...

?






Is it a front that I am in flight?  am I already stuck in the ocean pretending to fly?