Letting Individuals Vent out Energy! My internal rantings expressed in quotes, poems, or long stream of conscious notes, to remind and inspire myself (and also hopefully anyone who reads this) to strive for perfection.
Continuous progression to the point of failure?
When you FAIL, you are at the same point as When you SUCCEED. You still have to decide what to do next...
Live 4 Greatness. Live 4 G...
I just recently saw J.K Rowlings commencement adress to the 2008 graduates at Harvard, about the "The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination," and found it very inspirational! she talks about how FAILURE, the biggest FEARthat I would say 99.99999999% percent of the human race holds is something that we shouldn't fight to avoid, but rather accept and work with to overcome. Meaning We shouldn't base our merits and our dealings in life because we don't WANT to Fail, but should base them on because WE WANT TO DO THIS AND JUST FINISH THIS... I know I may not have been able to articulate my thoughts succinctly enough, but Basically what she says in her speech is "Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."
a.k.a when you hit the bottom, there is only one way to go...UP!!! you silly children!!!
I'm on the verge of cracking in a way. Ah I'm about to study for my last exam for tomorrow. I just realized there is SO MUCH I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING!!
It just overwhelms me how the stuff I'm reading and learning about, is never going to completely satisfy my UNDERSTANDING until I know all the aphorisms, allusions, double meanings etc.
I'm studying for my Topics in Shakespeare Course, and SHIT SON! There is SO much to denote in Shakespeare's plays. Whether it was written by Him FULLY or not, DAMN...So many underlying themes, puns, and hardcore double meanings!
Much like a Lot ofWu-tangsongs, and other Really good Musicians and Artists, there are ENDLESS deeper meanings that can be interpreted in anything!!!
IF you read my post below, I am in a constant pursuit of KNOWLEDGE!!! and Now at this hour is no different. I say I AM studying, but really I'm wiki'ing and google searching random things of interest!
(Damn this crazy information Age!!! I LOVE and HATE Thee!) Things just Feel so Overwhelming because I WANT TO KNOW more, I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
But I KNOW that it is IMPOSSIBLE to KNOW EVERYTHING! It's just this human complex in me, My want to BECOME like God, by gaining knowledge (Eating the APPLE)! I won't stop trying though, just because it is what drives me to learn and understand... Although I still need to LEARN to control my mind to not get so overwhelmed with this, and UNDERSTAND that my capacity to learn is ENDLESS, meaning I can constantly keep learning and learning, and there is no such thing as being able to know everything! There is however, such thing as KNOWING a lot!
To know everything is to know nothing.
Basically the purpose of my rant is to VENT out my desire to want to DO So MUCH IN MY LIFE!!! I want to travel, I want to explore the World, the Universe, Watch Movies all day, Watch all the Nostalgic T.V Shows/Cartoons from the 90's, Read Graphic Novels and all pieces of Literature...and the LIST GOES ON!!!
I feel so limited in my life. There really is Not enough time for me to do everything in ONE Lifetime!
Therefore I'll just have to do the MOST I can with what TIME I have.
What got me overwhelmed and thinking like this in the first place??? Well as I listen to my Beats, it overwhelms my mind how GOOD Music can BE!!! particularly Hip hop from the 90's! Plus MF GRIMM But beyond that, I listen to a lot of Classical Music TOO! (So mesmerized byClaude Debussyright now!) Then Jazz from the 40's, 50's, 60's (Miles Davis)...The List goes on! It sparked interest because a lot of crazy Hip Hop beats sample Jazz hits, some classical music, and just other great sources of inspirational sound. Everytime I hear a crazy beat/sound, that stimulates my mind beyond anything I can explain, I go friggin **berserk!!! Like How something THAT Good be able to enter my mind??? If you don't understand me, listen to one of your favourite songs in the WHOLE world, and just get lost in its sounds. How can these sound frequency's fuse together to create something that is SO incredible??? If I could express how I feel like when I hear Music, put your visualization on your Itunes (or winamp or Wmedia Player, or whatever you use), all those crazy colours that explode as it goes with the beat, THAT's how i FEEL like my mind is when I listen to music...and or when I read, and try and understand something that is really mesmerizing and Deep
(Exhales deeply)
ALSO I just watched this episode recently. It's from "The Twilight Zone" and the episode is called "Time Enough At Last"
For those of you who Don't Know, its been parodied a lot from Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy and other t.v shows. About the LAST guy on the planet, who Loves to READ, but then breaks his glasses and is Not able to read! (its Sad, yet FUNNY at the Same time) Its funny because its So Ironic! It just also summarizes my rant in a segment. We can't know everything, nor can we do whatever we want, whenever we want! Therefore just ACCEPT what you can and Live your life... well something like that at least. I've been meaning to actually watch this for a long time, and I finally found Time enough at last...during my "study" breaks.
LASTLY I want to Leave you with some Quotes that I found really inspiring, and helped me to vent out my feelings in the First Place.
That which does not destroy us makes us stronger. — Friedrich Nietzsche
Lost time is never found again. - Benjamin Franklin
If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. — Benjamin Franklin
The desire of excessive power caused the angels to fall; the desire of knowledge caused men to fall. - Francis Bacon
THEREFORE
Knowledge Is Power, Power Corrupts. Study Hard, Be Evil (but not really =P)
At the end of the day, I write this because I realize, that sometimes we (humans) need to vent out our FRUSTRATION of being human!!!
Naw' means???
Again the only formula to take control of THIS, (I find at least) is to keep it R.E.A.L!!! I just have to Respect, Endure, Accept, and Love my human flaws, so I won't feel so sporadic and all over the place. Control is the KEY, to Keeping it REAL!
I cannot believe it is almost CHRISTMAS time again, and the beginning of a New Year!
...Just as soon as I finish my exams!
I dont know what I'm doing right now... I want to continue to succeed in my studies but...In light of the season, I'd much rather enlighten my mind to music, watch episodes of Hey Arnold! and Batman TAS, read stuff on wikipedia, and just learn about New Things, instead of study!
I know this seems kinda WACK, but like I'd rather read stuff on Howstuffworks.com and learn how stuff works and expand my knowledge that way, instead of reading the material my Prof's assigned to be ready for my EXAMS!!!
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But Luigi, that's just Silly why don't you just sit down, shut up, and study?
The Answer: as much as I want to JUST 'study', my procrastination complex in my mind kicks in and would much rather be enlightened by learning about other things than whats necessary for my courses. =S
I don't know why but I feel as though my mind is inkling for a constant pursuit of new knowledge. I mean I actually enjoy the courses I'm in, love the prof's and all, but when it comes down to studying for it, I push it off aside and increase my knowledge by learning about OTHER things...
Ah this is crazy talk! This crazy procrastination complex in my mind has gone F.U.B.A.R (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair) that it is sending me messages that makes me FEEL like it's controlling me...
Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
I guess it's an inherent part of being a student. Not only am I paying a hefty sum, to be a student, but it boggles my mind that my attitude toward my studies is very lax.
The messed up thing about this all is that I KNOW that the only SOLUTION for this is to SIMPLY just shut everything off and start studying the material that's relevant to my GRADES!
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I don't know, but only until HOURS before the exam/assignment actually is, I will be found reading articles from various other sites instead of my studies, and producing blog posts instead of essays.
I don't want to fail in SCHOOL, and in LIFE! But for some reason the slackers instinct pushes through and tells me to learn new things than continue to understand my courses...I would also much rather help other people finish their work, before I finish mine!!!
I should end this here. I am actually reading this article on how to STOP procrastinating, and it seems helpful. Check it when you MAKE the time! actually check it... NOW!!! CLICK HERE TO STOP PROCRASTINATING
This is a Poem/phrase that has really stuck with me since Professor Downes introduced it to my ENG 280 class last year. I feel it to be very powerful and symbolic to many things in life. Particularly toward things that have been lost and the affect of its loss...
"Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its colour."
Still hits me hard every time I read it. A guy in my class said it rings the Bell of 9/11 a.k.a the Twin towers, and that statement can just be an account of the current state of the world right now. It's so true, the loss of the twin towers sparked up the whole ideology of terrorism etc. in our world today...
Got this email fwd, and I felt it to be really interesting... Check This:
1 x 8 + 1 = 9 12 x 8 + 2 = 98 123 x 8 + 3 = 987 1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876 12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765 123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654 1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543 12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432 123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321 ______________________________________________
1 x 9 + 2 = 11 12 x 9 + 3 = 111 123 x 9 + 4 = 1111 1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111 12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111 123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111 1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111 12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111 123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
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9 x 9 + 7 = 88 98 x 9 + 6 = 888 987 x 9 + 5 = 8888 9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888 98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888 987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888 9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888 98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
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And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1 11 x 11 = 121 111 x 111 = 12321 1111 x 1111 = 1234321 11111 x 11111 = 123454321 111111 x 111111 = 12345654321 1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321 11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321 111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
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Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
This is a story that my parents showed me, that I felt is very true about reality. I'm not much of a coffee drinker, but after reading this I realized I've been a Coffee man most of my life. Anyways check this out.
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
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A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the co ffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her
daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'
'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter
smiled as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coff ee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situ ation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Real, what does the word mean? To be acknowledged of having existence? Yes, that could fit into a definition of it. Being TRUE and not ILLUSIONARY, is also another way of trying to describe it (as defined in dictionary.com).
But KEEPING it REAL, what does that mean? How do you KEEP it Real? To keep something is to remain true to it, not to hinder it in anyway...(whatever "it" may be). In this case, "it" is being REAL.
Keeping it Real means to be able to remain true to oneself. Honestly being able to express oneself through emotion, and action. What I mean is being able to without CARING about any judgment by external forces, just ACTING as humanly as possible, the way you FEEL, toward the Other.
How about murderers? When they feel angry, or sometimes pleasure, they kill. are they keeping it Real? This is tricky in a sense. They keep it Real in terms of expressing themselves, but they neglect their true self. Humans have a violence complex through nature, there is always a BEAST within us all. But To keep it REAL, is to be able to EXPRESS oneself TRUTHFULLY, with uttermost control over our Nature...being able to tame the Beast within, or rather Control it, and not let it overpower your. This is the tricky part.
How can it be kept REAL, if it is CONTROLLED? To be Real, is to be honest. To be honest is to act truthfully, about how one is feeling. To act truthfully, is something that cannot really be fathomed and explained in REAL terms, but can be FELT. YOU CAN FEEL the HONESTY, and TRUTH when someone is KEEPING IT REAL...
To Fathom REALNESS, is to NOT Fathom reality. You just BE. BE who you are, BE what you are, and BE what you do.
I've developed a formula in how to do this. and it is by keeping it R.E.A.L
Respect Endure Accept Love
If humans can learn toRespect all things, there will be a sense of order.
If humans can learn to Endure all hardships that they face in life (annoying friend, vengeful enemy, not being able to understand something, not being able to take control of a situation, having no money for something, feeling alone and deserted, feeling UNLOVED...etc.) and be able to Respect the situation, there will be peace and calm.
If humans can learn toAcceptthat it is inevitable that there will always be suffering and hardships, then will there be a tolerance of being able to Endure anything, and be able to Respect it's existence (that is the existence of suffering).
If humans can learn to Loveall things, there will be Peace. Love is what helps humans have the capacity to Respect, Endure and Accept things that occur in life. Without Love, it will be impossible to completely and truthfully keep it REAL.
To keep it REAL means to be able to Love, Accept, Endureand Respectall things, so that one can TRUTHFULLY and HONESTLY Express themself to others. REAL is relative, you are only REAL because something (others) acknowledges your existence.
Therefore one must be able to Respect the other, Endure the other, Accept the other, and Love the other.
Only in this way can one Keep it R.E.A.L.
Jesus is a perfect example of someone who Respected all, Endured extreme suffering and hardship, Accepted his fate, yet still Loved everyone, even those who killed him.
The following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in the Crypts of Westminster Abbey. I picked them especially because it talks about change, and changing ourselves, knowing that change should begin with us.
“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change. So I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, on one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But, alas, they would have none of it. And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: if I had only CHANGED myself first, then by example, I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I might have even changed the world.”
I realize this as well. The world is TOO complex, as a whole. But individually... well its still complex. We're constantly changing. Every second, every breath we take, we change.
Revolutions happen with the collective force of each individuals beliefs. It takes one person to spark up a thought that could inspire people to band together and do something... but its keeping the people banded together that's the problem.
I feel so caught up sometimes in trying to do something to change the world; something i have no control over. Instead I should be focusing on changing myself first, or rather learn to accept my place, accept the WACKNESS around me and embrace it. Without it, I wouldn't have anything to contemplate about.
All i can say for now is, I Cannot Change the world, but I can Change your View of it.
First off, Thank you for stopping by and checking out my Blog. I have been debating about creating a Blog for a LONG time. Because at first i wanted an outlet for expressing my thoughts. I tried to start the old Fashioned way, writing on paper, or just typing random thoughts on microsoft word. BUT i figured that it serves no other purpose than to try and relieve myself of any excess thoughts through expression in writing. I mean it was a good way of actually expressing how I felt at the moment, yet it still made me feel some anxiety. I guess because my writing merely became just scribbles on paper. No one will read them ever, except me. I mean anyone is welcome to read them, just go to my room and pick up the random sheets scattered around, in notebooks etc. But at the end of the day it will just be scribbles on a sheet of paper only I have access to. I may have poured my soul into my writings, but what good is the writing if the potential of it being decoded is slim to none? Meaning, if no one will read it, what is its purpose, other than to just relieve myself of a load in my mind? No one may really TRULY understand my passionate expression at that particular moment when I wrote that piece. They would have to experience that own expression on their own...
I express myself for the sake of expressing myself, but like Kafka's Hunger Artist, I want/have a need to be acknowledged. But in reality, Who Doesnt?
I feel as though it doesn't fully satisfy me enough when i merely just write on paper. I am an unselfish being (well i try to be), and I wish to share my thoughts with everyone. Not because i want people to feel whatever mood i was feeling when i wrote that piece, but rather to inspire people to understand and acknowledge that I, for that time I wrote my entry, was HONESTLY EXPRESSING MYSELF!
I want everyone to understand that for that time I was writing, I was just expressing myself. I may have been mad, glad, happy or sad, and it may be obvious in my piece, but the fact i wish to share is the fact that i WROTE a piece in the first place...
I want to share with the world and inspire, to the best of my ability, of Humanly expressing myself. I feel this is the first step into being able to live a Happier life. Keeping NOTHING bottled up inside. Really just letting go and express what is on my mind. Then having others read it , and feel inspired to do so as well.
In the end, I guess what my goal for doing this other than just to express myself, is to inspire OTHERS to express themselves... Forgive me for my redundant inarticulateness.
What I feel my ambition is right now is to try to inspire a state of liberation (life) among people. And the first step into doing this, is by being able to Express oneself.
I honestly FEEL that the only way to receive acknowledgment that one has expressed themself, is if another person can read and can sense that expression. Feel that other persons expression. But no one can truly FEEL the other persons expression, only their own...I need to prove to myself that my expression is worthy of being acknowledged in the first place...
Expression is an art itself. And being art, not everyone may understand it at first. To even classify as being art, it must be showcased and acknowledged, and lived through. If not, then it is dead.
But how can expression be dead? It can't, but if no one is expressing themself, how can "expressing" (the liberation and feeling of it) be alive?
How can it be there if it is not known it exists? Everyone Expresses themselves everyday, by just living and being themselvses, but for some reason I'm Thinking about something Deeper than that. Beyond just everyday expression that goes on, well not really. I am thinking about Honestly as Humanly possible expressing oneself, to the point that it becomes just the inner self becoming the outer. Fully overpowering the mask we all place over ourselves in our every walk of life...
hmm.. i feel like i've went on a tangent...on my 1st blog too!! i think i may have gotten carried away. But there is just so much I want to get out of my head. Bah oh well, im just expressing how i feel right now. and i just feel like writing stuff.
Feel Free to express your own comments if any.
and Thanks For Reading... even if it just this final line! =D
